Friday, July 3, 2020

Struggling Thru Quaratine

I doubt anyone has truly enjoyed the last four months; it's been a complete shit-show.  Before this "new normal," I was on the road every other week, spending 100+ days/nights outside of my home.  As it turns out, despite the headache that traveling can be, it's nothing compared to being stuck at home with small children and a spouse who doesn't pay much attention to you.  At least in the past I had the gym, I could put on my headphones, blast some Eminem and push away my misery with barbells, dumbbells and the sauna.  Very few things provided me any stress relief, like most, exercise, alcohol, sex, nicotine, pretty much everything that releases dopamine, right?  Well shit, now I have none of them and while I'm proud to be one year sober and three months without nicotine, no lifting and sleeping on the couch for the past four months sucks ass. 

I've bought a treadmill, a rowing machine, resistance bands, used plumbing material to create a barbell and still I have little to no interest in getting up at 4am to do anything beneficial to my health any more.  Honestly, who gives a shit?  I don't see anyone other than the other corporate stooges with whom I work and interact with on Webex.  My wife clearly doesn't fucking care if I still have abs, shave, shower or even brush my teeth, so why the fuck am I concerned about it?  I miss alcohol  and nicotine.  Not even Wellbutrin is helping this situation.  Oh and make things even more fun and interesting, I'm selling my house, buying another one closer to the kids school so I can stop hearing complaints about having to drive kids to school.  Fantastic experience to endure with an absolute stress case.  

I am sure everyone is going thru some shit right now and I am not unique but fuck this blows goats and I hope this shit ends quickly so I can get back on the road and into a hotel bed to enjoy my porn in peace and quiet. 

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